This week I read this quote
by François Fenelon and it made me wonder: “What
folly to fear to be too entirely God's! It is
to fear to be too happy. It is to fear to love
God's will in all things. It is to fear to have
too much courage in the crosses which are inevitable,
too much comfort in God's love, and too much
detachment from the passions which make us miserable.”
I have been desiring more of God in me for many years and yet I still do the
things I do. I’ve got to wonder why I would waste another minute worrying
about getting that person to treat me differently when I have the complete love
of God. I read this quote by François and I don’t really have a
good answer.
If I fear fully releasing my whole identity into God’s love for me, I am
fearing happiness, love, God’s will in all things, courage to face my trials,
comfort like none other, and no addictions to things that leave me feeling empty.
It just doesn’t make sense does it?
Is it fear that is keeping me from living a life full of the Spirit? Sin really
does a number on us if we fear the One who made us and made us for great beauty.
I’ve got to believe that it must be fear because 1 John 4:18 says,
“There is no fear
in love. But perfect love drives out fear,
because fear has to do with punishment. The
one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
It seems the path to letting
God love me is to face my fears of letting Him
love me. I have to let go of my own evaluation
of myself. As much as it may seem to the contrary
in my selfish actions, I really don’t
regard myself quite as love-worthy as God does.
I’m still trying to fix myself and get
myself better so I can feel worthy of His love.
I will never get over my fear nor will I grasp
the reality of His love if I don’t come
to Him with all of me. I bring all the unfixed
parts. I surrender to Him my own inability to
make myself better. I come right before Him
as a total mess.
I have to face my fears that He would ever in
a million years ask me to do something that
would cause me harm. I just don’t trust
Him, or I wouldn’t resist His will that
much. I’ve got to get over my fear by
really watching Him. I need to observe how He
treats me and others. I need to see how His
ways, though hard, irrational, and life- threatening
are the only ways to get the job done. I need
only think about Jesus’ experience on
this earth to note that what looks like defeat
is really victory.
I need to deal with my fear of worrying that
I will be mistreated by others and focus only
on treating God with the same kindness he treats
me.
Ultimately, I need to face my fear that God’s
love is not enough. So far that has never been
the case. As I read the writings of the saints
like François Fenelon, it didn’t
seem that God wasn’t enough for them.
Today, I will believe that God’s love
is my life and being and let my fears go.
