This week I read this quote by François Fenelon and it made me wonder: “What folly to fear to be too entirely God's! It is to fear to be too happy. It is to fear to love God's will in all things. It is to fear to have too much courage in the crosses which are inevitable, too much comfort in God's love, and too much detachment from the passions which make us miserable.”
I have been desiring more of God in me for many years and yet I still do thethings I do. I’ve got to wonder why I would waste another minute worryingabout getting that person to treat me differently when I have the complete loveof God. I read this quote by François and I don’t really have agood answer.
If I fear fully releasing my whole identity into God’s love for me, I amfearing happiness, love, God’s will in all things, courage to face my trials,comfort like none other, and no addictions to things that leave me feeling empty.It just doesn’t make sense does it?
Is it fear that is keeping me from living a life full of the Spirit? Sin reallydoes a number on us if we fear the One who made us and made us for great beauty.I’ve got to believe that it must be fear because 1 John 4:18 says,
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
It seems the path to letting God love me is to face my fears of letting Him love me. I have to let go of my own evaluation of myself. As much as it may seem to the contrary in my selfish actions, I really don’t regard myself quite as love-worthy as God does. I’m still trying to fix myself and get myself better so I can feel worthy of His love. I will never get over my fear nor will I grasp the reality of His love if I don’t come to Him with all of me. I bring all the unfixed parts. I surrender to Him my own inability to make myself better. I come right before Him as a total mess.
I have to face my fears that He would ever in a million years ask me to do something that would cause me harm. I just don’t trust Him, or I wouldn’t resist His will that much. I’ve got to get over my fear by really watching Him. I need to observe how He treats me and others. I need to see how His ways, though hard, irrational, and life- threatening are the only ways to get the job done. I need only think about Jesus’ experience on this earth to note that what looks like defeat is really victory.
I need to deal with my fear of worrying that I will be mistreated by others and focus only on treating God with the same kindness he treats me.
Ultimately, I need to face my fear that God’s love is not enough. So far that has never been the case. As I read the writings of the saints like François Fenelon, it didn’t seem that God wasn’t enough for them. Today, I will believe that God’s love is my life and being and let my fears go.