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Not Knowing

If you are serious about knowing God, then you need to get serious about not knowing. One result of the fall is that we are all basically prone to illusion. This makes one wonder why we should even attempt to know God. The only answer is because God wants to be known, and He will teach us.

I have to admit that the more I feel that I know God, the more I know that He is past finding out. Rather than discourage me, it actually amazes me. I am humbled by the fact that despite how magnificent He is in relation to how fallen I am He still wants me to know Him. He blesses all my attempts to seek Him, even my failures. In fact, my failure to know Him is a backwards way of helping me to know Him more because I must learn humility to know God.

My pride keeps me determined to look at life my own way and ignore that my way is a sure sign that my view of God is most inaccurate. I naturally blame Him when things go wrong or expect that I have to beg Him to see things from my point of view. This shows how far removed my thoughts are about who God really is.

What I know is that God wants to be known. What I know is that I can pray for God to be known by myself and by those I care about. Paul prayed in Ephesians 1:17-18:

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.

I want that prayer answered in my heart. I want to know God better. I can’t know Him through my mind—it is fallen and limited. I cannot know God through my emotions—they will lead me to fallen conclusions. I must know God in my spirit—the part of me that is made in His image. The eyes of my heart must be enlightened by God himself. I can’t know Him without His help.

What I have come to know about God is that I must learn how much about Him that I cannot know. I am finite and the eyes of my heart are veiled. I search to know Him as much as possible on this earth, but I will always come up short. I have gotten to a place of knowing Him well enough to accept the hard things I cannot understand. I know enough to know that what is a mystery remains a mystery for today, but someday will make sense.

My conclusion is that what I have come to know about God makes what I cannot know peaceful to my soul. Yes, I stray away and stress out for moments in time, but I always come back to what I know about God. I know He is good. I know He cares for me. I know that I am dearly loved. When I remember what I know, it makes not knowing peaceful.

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